It's Been A Long Journey But She Is Doing Well !!!

Today as I write about my darling daughter, I have great news. She is doing well.  She is so grown up and is able to make decisions without mom and has a wonderful life.  She does not live near home though, but close enough to come home occasionally. We had to sell her horse, as much as we didn't want to, but she went to a great home.  In fact, her horse went to her former 4-H trainer who lives about 20 minutes away and there is an open door to be able to go and see her. I was happy about that, but sad that my daughter's dream is gone. She has new dreams now and is persuing those new dreams. I still miss my little girl, but to me, she will always be my little girl. But now, my teenage daughter is no longer a teen.

When Does A Mother Let Go and Accept Her Empty-nestedness ?

It seems like forever that I have written in this blog, and I don't mean to neglect it, but I have had so much happening in my life. As far as my youngest daughter is concerned, I miss her with every fiber of my being. I miss those days of us going out to eat as a family, shopping and going to the grocery store to find the ingredients to bake something special, and I miss just having her around. She was so much company for me. She is now in the Navy as I have said before, and she is doing VERY well for herself. She's learning so much and has a very full- filling life of helping others. That's what she wanted and she has gone straight for her goals. I am a very proud mother. In times of troubles, I always remind her to think things over and not make any quick decisions and to pray about it. She is married now, and they have a child, and he's so freakin adorable. I am a proud grandmother as well. But that still doesn't answer my questions about how to let go. I know that she lives very far away from me now, but still find interest in her daily life and sometimes find myself giving her advice, even when she hasn't asked for it. It's so hard to step back and allow her to make decisions when I am so used to being the one that she always came to. She has her hubby now, and I love him dearly and am proud of the man he is and how wonderfully he treats my daughter. I myself, have a husband who is wonderful, but he doesn't talk much. He doesn't like to discuss anything and I do not have any super close friends.  I have friends, but don't see them much. How do I learn how to step back and just watch?  How do other mother's step back?  Any suggestions?  Maybe I just need to find myself a new hobby....

That Darned Ole Empty Nest Syndrome Is Bothering Me Again!

It's been only days but it seems like an eternity that I have heard from my youngest daughter, who has been up to her eyeballs in diapers, bottles and a hubby and job, but I miss her so much. I don't think that our children understand how hard it is to just let go of them once they leave. I am missing her being at home, I miss her helping me with every day things like going to the store or the grocery and even out to eat. But she's grown, and she's a long way from home. It's not like I have other kids, I DO!  and I miss them as well, but I guess the other ones have been gone a whole lot longer than my baby.  I am very proud of the young woman that she has become, as well as my other two grown daughters.  They have given me a full life and a ton of love. And each one is different, each in their own way. How do we get over that empty nest feeling? I have been told by many that now is MY time, and for me to enjoy but it's hard to get used to. I know that with time, I will find things to keep myself busy. Now, what kind of hobby do I need to take up?  LOL

Young People Living Together

So, now all of my children are adults, and I am living the empty nest life, however....I DO have grandchildren. My oldest granddaughter is now 20 years old,( and yes,) she is the same age as my youngest daughter, and I know that sounds strange but that's how it is! My darling granddaughter has just moved out of her family home and into the home of a boyfriend and his parents. I guess there are more grown children living at home that there used to be in my day of growing up. She has done pretty well for herself though because she is a licensed cosmetologist and is still in college for business classes, she works and that's her life right now. I was very uneasy about her moving out, and of course being my first and oldest grandchild worried about her moving in with her boyfriend. I think that I worry about her just as much as if she were one of my own children. When is it the right time to move in with a boyfriend? Is it better than just getting married first? How do they take care of finances and how do they split living expenses?  I am just curious, as they are young. I guess they must look at it as if they want to split up at any point, they are free and do not have to go through the paper work as if married people do. This seems to be the normal thing these days. How do you feel about it?

Grown Teens Leaving The Nest And Learning How To Fly On Their Own

As a mother who has had children at home from the time I was 18 until my mid 50's it's very hard letting them go to fly out on their own. But my youngest who left less than 2 years ago has really done well for herself, and yet I still find myself trying to give her advice as if she were still at home. It is so very difficult for me to stand back and watch as she goes through life's struggles.  I enjoy seeing her good times but when I see a potential downfall coming or seeing her go through something harder in life, I just sometimes find myself blurting out my opinions. I need to let her experience life and find out on her own, but it's so hard! I find that when I catch myself giving advice, she tells me that she remembers that I already taught her that and that she knows!  I have to apologize to her because I KNOW that she KNOWS, but for me, it's been very difficult letting her go. She doesn't live near me anymore but since she has been in the Navy, and married a Navy boy, she had to deal with new experiences and she calls for my advice, which is good, but I feel I need to stand back a bit more and allow her wings to spread and learn. Why does it have to be so hard when our children grow up and leave home?

Having A Grown-Up Teen

So much time has passed and my baby, yes, she's still my baby, is grown up now. Graduated from high school, and immediately went into the Navy. She's been learning to do her thing and she met a very nice guy and got married. Still a teen, my dear darling daughter got married to a Navy guy. He is her same age and they are great together....and I love him dearly. I have seen how he treats my daughter and I am glad that she chose someone who allows her to be herself, someone who is always looking out for her betterment, and someone who has many of the same views that she does. Oh, this mother is so happy and proud, but now my baby no longer is single. That means that this mom takes a back seat and gets to watch as my children grow through their marriage. I hope that this marriage lasts her for her lifetime and I am pleased with how things are going for them.

A Grown Daughter

My darling teen, still a teenager, but now is 19 yrs. old.  She graduated high school last school session and here we are about to start another new school year and this is very different for me! No buying paper, pencils and all those things to start back to school...no clothes or shoes and my life feels quite different. I see families all around me at the stores buying supplies and I miss those days.
 Within this year, my baby girl has graduated, gone off to the Navy, gotten married to a Navy boy...and  she is VERY happy and I am happy for her, but she lives far away now and I miss having her here.
We still have our horse and I hear  from her often but am counting my blessings from God that He gave me such a wonderful daughter to raise.
  Are you close with your daughter? I was close with mine, but always stayed the "mother" and not a best friend.  I found that  it worked best that way for us.  Mothers and daughters can share a close bond....it also helps when they move away and find a new life of their own.

My darling teen is an adult now, and although she's still technically a teenager, she is a full grown woman. I feel as though things went extremely well during her growing up and teenaged years.  I did not have the troubles like I did with my older daughters going through their teens, and this just proves how all children grow up differently.  My oldest daughter gave me FITS to be tied and I never thought that her and I, even after all the trials and tribulations of her teenaged years, that we would REALLY get along so well right now, but we do and I am soooo glad.  With my middle daughter, she was hard to raise during her teen years, but nothing as hard as the first.  However, my youngest, my baby, she was such a darling through her teen years.  Yes, she DID have  her PMS- kind of moments but I never had much trouble at all....she was the easiest one of all of them......but now, that my daughter is out and on her own, she is developing her own uniqueness a bout herself.  My darling daughter KNEW that I didn't want her to have any tattoos  until she turned 18, and she respected that.....what has she done now? Not only one tattoo, but several...although small and not really visible, but still there.  I suppose this was her way of getting her wings spread out and becoming the person that she wanted to be. I sometimes wonder if she has done all of this just to prove her point. So be it, I have acknowledged the fact that she's grown. As a mother, I have found that even after our teens have grown up, we must still be there to help them through some of the grown up stuff. Taking time to explain things to our teens is very important. I think it gives our daughters things to think about so they can make their own decisions once they've gotten out on their own. I am a very proud mother, but I really miss those being at home, teenaged years.

Looking At My "Little" Girl

Sometime I forget that  she's an adult. She lives away from home, on the base, but she came home this past weekend...and she brought a friend with her. Those two were just like silly teen girls laughing and giggling away, just as if she was back in high school. Times have changed and for me, it seemed to have changed just way too quickly. It only seems such a short time ago that my daughter was getting ready for her quinceanera (15th), playing the flute in the band at high school and then getting ready for prom and graduation. Time flew by...where did it go? I saw in my daughter, that she is still that same beautiful spirit that she's always been, but I miss those years of her being at home. I look at her and see that she is maturing, and wondefully so.  "A" school in the Navy is going very well for her, and she will soon be finished and moving on in her journey. I am so proud and so pleased. What more could a mother ask for?

Learning how to treat my now adult teen has been a chore for me. I have spent my whole life teaching her things so she will be prepared when she became an adult, and now that she has, I still find myself in the same teaching mode. She tells me "mom, I remember that you taught me that already" so I guess I have done my job. Although I don't feel that a mom's work is ever finished, I know that she is now on her own and will be doing most things on her own. I miss having my darling daughter here with me, especially during her high school years. Living those high school years was so much fun. Aside from the studying for tests and all the homework, things went rather smoothly. My daughter was a joy, and I miss her dearly. I find that now with her gone, I no longer have anyone to discuss things with, or take shopping with me, but I am learning how to be an empty-nester. I still have her horse close by that I go and visit, but I will be so happy when my daughter comes home to visit...and that should be soon...but it won't be a long visit because she will be leaving to her next duty station. Enjoy your teen daughters while they are still at home, because once they leave, there's a big change in your life.

Helping Your Adult Teen With Money

Ok, so they turn the big 18....what does this mean?  They are adults.  Well, yes, and no. What I mean is, that when a person becomes 18, they are legally an adult. Society says so. However, I know that just because you turn this magical number, doesn't always mean that you are ready to jump into the adult world. What about checking and banking?  What about credit cards? A place of your own? How about all those bills that go along with moving out and being on your own?  I think that a large number of 18-yr olds get out into the world and are not really ready to jump in head first, so it's really important that they learn as much as possible before they turn 18. Most high schools offer "life" classes, which is really good....but have you sat down with your teen and talked to them about these kind of things? With my daughter, I made sure that I taught her how to go out and apply for a job, opened up a checking account and explained to her how to use it, and not only that, I taught her how to save some of her money as well. For teens, and actually for a good many of us, saving is hard, and sometimes next to impossible. Start with a small amount to see if it works. My daughter hasn't tried to get a credit card yet, so it's all good for now, however, I know that the day will come, and she has already started out good by getting her cell phone in her own name and keeping up with the bills. Maybe that's a decent start. If you haven't sat down with your teen to talk about money and the future, maybe now is the time !

My Darling Daughter and Christmas Holiday

Now that my teenaged daughter has gone into The Navy, things have definetly changed around here....no longer am I having to wait up at night for my darling daughter to come in late.... no longer do I have to worry about her getting up and leaving for work on time, however, I miss my daughter so very much.!  I now have an empty nest. It is quiet around here. Now I have the worry of a mother worrying over her grown child. Waiting to hear from her and wondering if she's okay in her new life. I am a proud mother. I feel that my daughter was well equipped to enter the adult world. Actually they told her in boot camp that she was very mature for her age and that she would go very far in life because she was very good in the things that she accomplished. You don't know how happy that made me to hear that. We still have her horse, Miss Frenchie, and are trying to keep up with everything while she's gone...but she will get to come home for Christmas and I am so glad about that. This is going to be a very special Christmas indeed.

My Daughter Is Now A Navy Sailor

I can't believe that the time has finally come....my daughter, my baby, my teenager is now a Navy sailor. She finished boot camp in just a little under 8 weeks. The waiting was terribly hard on me, but I knew that she was doing what she wanted to do in life...she wanted something different...she wanted to be able to help others through her work by going into the Navy and being a hospital corpsman (medical) and now she has completed boot camp and now in training for her hospital corpsman job. I am proud as can be. The PIR (graduation) was exceptional. She did very well in her training and had the honor of carrying her division's flag. She was right up front and when they called liberty, all the parents and families rushed to the drill hall floor to be with their sailors. This experience has been up and down for me because during her boot camp weeks, I was unable to call her when I wanted to, wasn't able to see her and just had to wait on her letters and very infrequent calls. She has accomplished something big in her life and is now onto the next phase of schooling and learning. She will have a wonderful future, and that makes me very proud !

Halfway Through Boot Camp

Well, we are a little more than halfway though the waiting period of boot camp and I am still missing my daughter. I have gotten a few letters, and a couple of phone calls, but terribly short in length....I am very much looking forward to getting to go and see her graduate. I never thought that these long weeks of waiting would be so dramatic. This is nothing similar to a child going off to college, because even though they are far away, you can still talk to them over the phone whenever you want....text and get frequent visits from home. With boot camp, you do not get to call them....you must wait for the Navy to allow them to call you and write you. My heart has ached for just the chance to talk to my darling teen. It seems like she did things in a small lump of time. She graduated in June, turned 18 in August, and then left in Sept.  Time flew so quickly, and reminds me of how very little time we had before she left. Children sure seem to grow up too fast....

Still Awaiting My Daughter To Graduate Boot Camp

It's been a solid 2 weeks now and my darling teen is still in boot camp...this is gonna be a long and lonely ride. She will be graduating next month, which is a good thing, but I miss her terribly. Meanwhile, Miss Frenchie is being well taken care of and family is visiting her about 3 times a week.  My daughter's room is quiet: no music or tv blaring from within and I am not having to worry about her getting home at night...I still miss her. I am extremely proud of her for doing something that means so much to her. I will be very excited for graduation next month.!

My Daughter's In Boot Camp For The Navy

My daughter went into Navy boot camp last week and I am a proud mother..and excited and nervous for her all in the same ball of wax. I wasn't expecting to get her box of civilian clothes back after only a few days but it was good, a very good feeling. For a moment, I wanted to cry, because there were my daughter's things all together in a box: cell phone, shoes, clothes...but a very happy moment, indeed.
Being a mother of a daughter in boot camp in NOT an easy thing.  I am anxiously awaiting the next step in her journey, which is a form letter that will tell me when she is going to graduate boot camp and her official address to write her at. For now, I have no communication and it's a very difficult time for me.  Oh, I am sure that she is doing fine, but for me, I really miss being able to see her beautiful face every day or talk to her throughout the day. On the other side, I don't have to worry about what time she's going to come in at night or what she's planning on doing for the next several days.  She is safe and sound.  How can any mother be any prouder?

My Daughter Will Be Leaving For The Navy Soon !!!!

With only a week to go, my darling teenaged daughter will be going off to the Navy....and I am sad, but happy at the same time. I am trying to spend every last minute that I can with her before she goes to boot camp....because while she's there, I will not be able to call her, only write. She will call me, but only when they allow her to, and it's going to be a long 2 months for me.  Lucky, for me, that she will be graduating right at Thanksgiving time and I will once again get to visit with her. We decided to go to the mall yesterday, something that I rarely do, and we were only there for about 30-45 minutes when she got a phone call. Most of the times, it's texts she gets but this was an actual phone call....and it was the Navy recruiter office.  They told her that the Chief wanted to see her for her 1-week visit and they wanted  her right then and there....she was with me in my car, and didn't give us any time to get her back home so she could drive up to the office, so they came and picked her up from the mall....needless to say, I felt very alone once she left, knowing that this is going to be her future.....I went home. The meeting went well, everything's going great and she will be leaving on Monday to start her MEPS for leaving.  I am saddened because she is my baby, the last one out of 5, already grown children... I have never had an empty nest, having my first born when I was 18....and now at the age of 54, I will finally be called the "empty nester".  I am happy that she is going to have a great future, serving with the Navy, also helping them being a hospital corpsman, but sad at the fact that I will miss my baby girl being at home.  What can I say?  I am a very proud mother.

The Days Are Going By Very Fast

Now that my daughter has turned 18, and graduated high school....next step is the Navy. ... and that will happen in exactly 2 weeks....yes, she will leave for boot camp. I am excited for her, but nervous at the same time. This daughter of mine is my baby. She is going to be a hospital corpsman, which is similar to a Doc, or Medic....and I am extremely proud of her.  We made a check list of the things that she needs to get done before leaving and mostly everything is done now. Her signing up for the Navy has been very up and down for me, as a mother...and the hurry up and wait mode the Navy has doesn't help. I pray that things go smoothly for her, and I am gonna be sitting by the telephone to get her calls. Boy, children really DO grow up fast...don't they?

Almost 18

Well, two more little days, and my daughter will be an official adult. Of course, I have told her that just because she turns 18 doesn't mean that she gets to stay out any later or act as if she's living on her own. She's a good girl. I am truly going to miss her when she goes to boot camp...and we have less than 40 days now. I am confident in the fact that I have taught her as much as possible before going out into this big old world, but since she's my baby, I am having feelings of wondering what an empty nest is going to feel like. Not one peep from her father since right after her graduation.

Frenchie Has Been Relocated!

Getting my daughter's horse, Frenchie, moved to a location closer was a very difficult chore, indeed. Everything was lined up,  and I even paid for the first 2 days of the month, even though we moved out before the 5th. I wanted to be fair and correct. We got there, and our previous owner handed me our coggins papers for the move..With Frenchie on a lead rope, we brought her out to the trailer. She would not go in. I, in the meantime, talked to the helping hand who does all the feeding and such.. He told me what they had changed her food into, and showed me how much food she gets, which was good because the previous owner would not tell me, even though I asked her. She came from behind us, was very angry that he told me what I wanted to know, but I didn't let her bother me. When I asked her for a handful of feed to help get our horse loaded, she refused. I told her that since I paid her for the whole day, and it was only morning, couldn't she help me.  Again, she refused...and told me that she didn't have enough feed. So, what did that mean? Would our horse have gotten skinny because she was short on feed, if I had left her? I begged with her again, and she finally gave us a small amount. With that, we were successful at getting Frenchie loaded and trailored to her new home. She has been there a good week now and I am very pleased. Frenchie is eating, and at that, it's a better quality feed. I am paying more for board, but that's okay. I am happy, I am content, and am so glad it's done. Now, Frenchie is doing wonderfully...Thank God for that miracle.