My Daughter's Quinceanera---Looking Back

Now that my daughter has an official driver's permit and is learning the ins and outs of driving in the real world, I have stopped to ponder back at some of her growing up moments. Looking back at her quinceanera last year, I have to say that I am so glad that I did that for her. It's a very special moment in a girl's life and she will have that memory with her forever. My daughter is not one who has to have the designer jeans or the expensive shoes....she's just about a teen, living in the real world, understanding that parents just cannot afford all those expensive things in life all the time. She does have her preferences about her clothing, though, so I will give her that. She is a pure and natural beauty. I am glad that her quinceanera gave her a celebration with her friends and family, enjoying the glamour of wearing a crown and a beautiful gown, high heels and being the center of attention. Just make sure that if you give your daughter one, you get some good pictures and video, that will last a lifetime. My how my teen is really growing up fast.

My Daughter's Tears About Her Father

Teens are smart, and sometimes just way too smart for their own good. My daughter had a very rude awakening this afternoon. I got a call from her father, who doesn't have time to come and visit her even though he only lives 7 minutes away. He told me that he was moving in with the other woman that he's had all these years, and that he wouldn't be as close anymore. Although he will be farther away, it isn't that much too far. I told her about his moving and the tears came tumbling down. I felt so horrible for her because even if she doesn't get to see him much, she knew he was still fairly close by. She knew about the other woman but thought that her dad was all alone. He even told her that this past Christmas that he didn't get any presents and that he was totally alone.....but that was not the truth. He finally admitted to me today that he was moving in and that he had been spending alot of time there. I told him that I had told our daughter that he must have spent Christmas there with her because we noticed him not home for several days.... so now he knows that his daughter knows that he wasn't alone. Why did he tell her something to make her feel bad? Only God knows why. I honestly think that he was still thinking that I would return back to him but there was no way that I could. Talking to my daughter was something that I needed to do, not to tell her anything bad about him, but to re-asure her that her dad was okay and that he was going to be alright. I told her to be happy for him. And now, I think she is.

Being a Mother On Mother's Day

When I was a little girl, the only hope that I had was to be a mother. I wanted children of my own so that I could love. I wanted to teach them how to be kind, loving and caring. Today as I celebrate mothers day, I have to say that I have been truly blessed. I have five children, four all grown up and one teen. Being a mother has been such a wonderful journey for me. Not only was I given the ability to teach my children, each one of them has taught me something. I learned how to be patient, understanding and thankful. Having children is a really wonderful experience. I am so joyous that I have been given this wonderful opportunity.

Talking With Our Teens

Having a teen in the home can be very enjoyable or it can also be very worrysome. Try to keep the lines of communication open with your teen, whether it be short and sweet or a conversation about something they like talking about. If your teen shows an interest in a particular sport, talk with them about it and if you don't know anything about that sport, your teen can teach you more about it. When our children grow out of that "kid" stage (you know, the one that WANTS to go everywhere with you and wants to participate in everything) and grows into this teen, who is now trying to learn about becoming more independent, they go through alot of changes. We went through this ourselves growing up, but they don't often realize that we have been through the things that they are starting to encounter. They can often be "know-it-alls" and that can be annoying. Try using some patience with them and start off with easy, "lite" conversations. That can certainly go a long way in starting the communications going once again.

Children are True Blessings

Our Thanksgiving holiday was really wonderful. Most of my children and grandchildren came down and we had a great visit. This is my youngest grandbaby, who has just turned 2 yrs old. She is modeling a Laura Ashley, 100% silk dress that is valued at $50. that I was so lucky to win through a contest at http://hipmommysplace.com When they contacted me to tell me that I had won the contest, I was so excited. I knew this would be a beautiful dress for my granddaughter to wear. I am very thankful that for the fact that http://hipmommysplace.com sent the dress out so quickly. It even arrived in time for her to model it for me before they left back to Oklahoma. Go and check out this great blog. I really enjoy it alot. Thanks to hipmommysplace I was lucky enough to win it. What another wonderful blessing indeed.

Dental Check-ups

Sometimes we get really busy around here and it's not always the first thing on your mind--that yearly dental check-up. Yep, that's right. I know, I know, yucky, right? Well, that's what my dear darling daughter says. Last year she had a cavity or two so she wasn't looking forward to going this morning. But we had some good news today. She had no cavities at all. They examined her, and cleaned her teeth, which always feels good and off to school she went. I can't stress how important a yearly exam is. I should know, because I went alot as a child, but as I got to be an adult, I just didn't go as often as I should have. I wished that I would have kept up on it more. A pretty smile is very important, especially for young people.

Fish Camp

School will be starting here next week and today was fish camp. I think that's a great idea for the kids to get used to a new school, especially when they are starting high school. My daughter was nervous this morning heading out but came home very excited. Lucky for her, she knows some people in the band, but now has discovered there aren't anybody she knows in her classes. She has decided that she wants to work hard this year so that she will be able to take pre-ap classes, which will help with college credits when she starts in the years ahead to come. Keeping teens busy with something constructive is very important these days. There are some teens that do not plan on going to college but in order to get a decent job in life these days, they must at least finish school. Keep communications open with your teen and let them know how much you love them and stand by them. It's so important.

Creating Mother/Daughter Memories

Yes, we are in July. I know it's early.... however, it's now time to start thinking about Christmas projects. Have you thought about what you are going to get for everyone? Are you someone that has alot of family to buy for, but not alot of money? Believe me, I am. Not only do I have 4 grown children, 1 young teen at home, a hubby, but I also have 4 grandkids, and my grown children have their spouses as well. I thought that I would give some suggestions here. How about making up a family cookbook for some of the new daughters-in-laws? This is something that you can do with your daughter, providing she is old enough to get on the internet and search for new recipes to add to yours. She can help you print some of these out, and you and her together can go and have these laminated and put into a notebook or binder. Or in our case, we are going to sit down together and go through some old pictures and some new ones, and put them together in a 3 ring binder and make a scrapbook for my mother. My mother already has everything she needs and it's hard to find just the right thing. This is also something you can do with your daughter or even your son. This is time spent together that will good memories and alot of fun doing together.

My Daughter

Well, here it is, Thursday morning. My ex was supposed to come and pick up our daughter on Sunday but he was a no-show. No phone call, no nothing...just plain and simple, did not come. When she tried to call him, he did not answer his phone. Now, this really makes me angry that he cannot even give us a courtesy call. My dear daughter seems to show some sort of understanding, however, I am just tired. I am tired of trying to shield her from how her dad really is, and I have decided to let her find out on her own, without my saying anything against him. I know how this must hurt her, to be stood up by her own father, but what can I say? I have to bite my tongue and be pleasant about it, so I won't upset her. Right now, she is at the tender age of innocence and I don't want to rock the boat. What does a mother do to help her daughter get through times like this? I am very supportive of her and I always try to help smooth over those hurt feelings when he doesn't show up. This just gets my "goat" when he tells her that he's working on a holiday or on a Sunday instead of picking her up for just a quick lunch. That's not much time to have to give up.. I don't understand. I have always felt that children need both parents in their lives, if possible...but what can you do if he doesn't show much interest?

Fathers and Daughters

What do you do when your daughter's stepdad is more than her own dad? Such is the case here and I am here to tell you, I have been through it myself. I know that having a stepdad can be such a rewarding thing to a girl, but having your real dad around is so important. My Ex has decided to only come and see our daughter when he feels like it. He was never much a family man when we were together, but now he is really showing it. I have given him actually cart blanche here, allowing him to show up whenever he can, or take her out when his work schedule permits, but he doesn't take much advantage of it. He is self employed, only lives 7 minutes away, and refuses to take her over a weekend, much less one night, so I have allowed him to come and take her to dinner, or shopping, or whatever, WHENEVER he feels available. He gets along with my present hubby but just doesn't take the time. When he DOES have the time, he picks her up for dinner, and brings her right back. I feel so horrible for my daughter, especially since I have been through it myself, but what can a mother do? My hubby has more than stepped in the role of being a step-dad, and they get along wonderfully. I just have to wonder what in the heck is her real dad thinking? She is such a wonderful person to be with and she is growing up so quickly. Makes me wonder why he can't stop and take the opportunity to be a real dad.

Listening to your elders

My daughter went to the park the other evening for a birthday party. Very close to the house, actually several blocks away. Alot of girls were to be there and on Friday night's there's always an old car show, which we also go to. We dropped her and my granddaughter off and I told them "DO NOT LEAVE THE PARK". We were supposed to pick them up at 9 pm but I wasn't comfortable about that so we ended up going at 8pm, which the party was actually over and the girls were all walking around but it was not near our house. We looked at the cars, then over to get the girls, and my darling daughter was good and was still in the park, however, my granddaughter was walking away from the park and was about 2 blocks down. She was with another girl and they were trying to get the attention of another girl that they didn't know because the other girl was trying to start some trouble by saying ugly things. Well, we called for her and she saw us and came back. She was in lots of trouble because we told her not to leave the park. My point here is this: Not only do I expect my daughter and granddaughter to mind what I say, but there's a reason for it as well. In this day and age, there are many bad things happening out there. Especially in the dark. There are kids being picked up all over the place and it's just not safe to venture out like that. In the park, there were the adults from the party, plus it's all lit up. Walking down the streets were no lights and it's just not safe. I want to be obeyed, not only because I am the parent, but because there's a reason behind what I say. Listening to your elders is what's best in today's world and sometimes teens think that they don't need to listen because they are brave at this age and trying to learn how to be upcoming adults, but they really need our guidance during this time of growing.

Be kind with your words

You might think me silly, or terribly old fashioned, but I am. I will admit it. This hip-hop old granny has a few things to say. This not only goes to my darling teen daughter, but to all my grandchildren as well.
There are some words that are known as BAD words as in cuss words, but the words that I am talking about are different. Words that young people use to describe others can be very hurtful. Don't call anyone "fat" - "chubby"- "ugly"- "stupid"- "dumb"- and other such words to describe others that are demean them, because these words are what I call BAD words too. Now, you might be with one of your friends and call them one of these words in fun or games, but there's nothing funny or cute about these words. Take this to heart. You wouldn't want to be called this. Those words are hurtful. They make people feel bad, and you don't want that.
Please watch what you say and how you say things. Stop that think about things you say. Learn to watch your tongue. As My grandma and my mother before me always told me this old saying: "IF you can't say something nice, then DON"T say ANYTHING at all".

Raising a teenaged daugther

Boy is it hard these days !!! I have already raised 2 daughters and 2 sons, and I just turned 50 years old last week, and I still have a 13 yr. old daughter at home.
My oldest child is now 31 and will be 32 in June, and most of my children are 5 years apart. Things just aren't the same as they used to be. Especially from times when I was growing up.
My mother raised me on little ditties, nursery ryhmes and alot of little "sayings".
One little saying that she always said was " pretty is as pretty does" basically meaning, that if you want to be pretty towards other people, you must not only be pretty on the outside, but have a "pretty" inside, in your ways of being and in your actions. You must act "pretty" towards others and that will make you a "pretty" person.
That is one thing that I want my teenage daughter to learn. So, here are a couple of things I want to start with.

1. " pretty is, as pretty does" for people look at you from the inside in as well as the outside.
To my lovely daughter, who is learning how to grow in today's society, please hear me when I tell you that your actions really do count and people will remember the kind of attitude you present towards others. Some people, well, they may not care, but the MOST important people will.
2. attitude is everything, and I say that to show you that sometimes things in life, will go your way. But other times, they won't. So, always have the attitude that you can and will do your best to accomplish life's little twists and turns. Life is not easy, but having a good attitude towards things will get you farther.
3. "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" again is one thing that I want my daughter to carry with her as she goes into her daily routine of school. It is so very hard to always have this feeling when others are hurting you, but please learn how to do the best you can with this. You will go far in life treating others how you wish to be treated.

I will be writing more topics as time goes on, because there are so many things I want to tell my child to be able to carry with her in this life, especially being a teenager and facing life's hardships. Of course, there are going to be many wonderful days, but being a teen is challenging to today's teens.