Bringing Home A Boy

What happens when your sweet darling baby girl suddenly shows signs of interest in boys? After all those years of her playing with dolls, riding bikes, taking on interests of anything but boys, and now suddenly, she is growing......getting taller, showing signs of growing into a young lady and wow, the next thing you know, she wants to bring a boy home after school so you can meet him. In our case, her first encounters started with her wanting to meet him at the mall. I was so afraid because once they get into that boy stage, beware! I have already raised 2 daughters and I knew what was headed in my direction next. I allowed her to go to the mall but she had to have a friend with her, someone that I knew already. That worked out wonderfully because she knew that once I dropped her off, she was not allowed to leave. Good thing here too was that he couldn't drive and turns out, his mother stayed at the mall to shop while he was there. I am very lucky, I have to admit, that his mother and dad are very caring, consiencious people. Letting your daughter go out these days has to be thought out about carefully. I have not allowed her to go to any "parties at so-and-so's house". I have let her go places but with friends of hers that I know, and know their families as well. What works for you with your daughters? Anybody got anything they would like to add here? I welcome your comments!

Living Life and Helping Others

Life is all about you and the people who surround you. Make sure that you take the time to help others who are in need. Make sure that you do something nice for someone, and don't expect anything back in return. Keep your tongue silent instead of saying something that might hurt someone else's feelings. Now days, some teens can be pretty mean, say things to hurt or do things that are just plain wrong. Don't ever stoop down to those levels. Be true to yourself and don't let anyone else make you do something that you know is wrong. Be strong and love yourself. Live life knowing that you are doing the right thing. Life is great, stop and smell the roses!

Talking On The Phone

Sometimes, it's way too much. I know, I know, when I was a teen, I did the same thing too....but today you've not only got the telephone, but you have a cell phone and text messaging. You've got aol messenger and myspace.com. My darling daughter, it's okay to use the phone and talk to your friends, but there are times in life, especially after you come from school, that you must put that phone to rest long enough to do your homework for school. There's dinner too, not to mention, picking your clothes up off the floor !!!! Let's not make using the phone all afternoon and night a "bad" choice. I know you want to keep your electronics, so try giving the poor phone a little bit of rest, at least until after the homework, dinner and shower is done. After all, homework is a very important part of grades in your school and I know you have to get it done.

Know Who Your Teen Hangs Out With

I am writing this because I heard someone say yesterday that their teen would do whatever they wanted because they(the mother) couldn't be with her 24/7. However true, there are still things that can be done to protect your teen from hanging out with the wrong crowd. That's where all the trouble normally begins. First of all, your teen needs to have many friends....casual friends and good, close friends. There are things that you can do to help keep your teen from getting into too much trouble, and that's to find out who her friends are, and make sure who she hangs out with is someone who's not getting into trouble all the time. You can meet some of her friends during the times they want to go to the mall, especially if you are doing the taxi-thing. You can also meet the parents if they go to spend the day or night with them. I have found that keeping my ears and eyes open really helps. Talk to your daughter about what kind of friends are appropriate and let her know the consequences of hanging out with someone who gets into alot of trouble. Keep an open line of communication with your daughter. Also important, know where she is going to be when she goes out somewhere and who is doing the picking up and dropping off.

Making Good Choices

During the teen years, and sometimes before, our children start asserting more of their independence. Sometimes they can go through it without too many problems, however, some go through it really hard. I have 5 children. They are all grown now except for my youngest one, who is now 14.
I can honestly say that none of them went through the teen years the same.
I have told my youngest daughter about making wise choices in her life. She asked me what that meant. I told her that as long as she chooses good friends to hang around with, follow the rules that I have set down for her and make decent grades in school that all of the "goodies" that she owns will remain hers. However, if a bad choice comes about, her electronics start getting taken away. Teens nowadays normally are pretty blessed with alot of those expensive, but fun electronics: Cell phones, computers, laptops, the internet, tv with remote, i-pods and so forth. She has been really good about following the rules. She really likes her electronics for sure !

Oh, Boys !!!

Even though my daughter doesn't have a special guy right now (thank goodness), she has had a small taste of having a special guy. She is going to stand up in her best friend's quinceanera next weekend. She was going to have that special guy stand in with her, and he even went to some practices with her, and then he decided that he was just way too busy, not only for the dance practice, but for my daughter. Good riddence I said. However, that left her without a dance partner so they found her someone. She doesn't know him but they are only going to dance together. This concludes my thoughts on my own daughter's quinceanera which will be coming up in August: No boyfriends. That's right. The girls in her dance party will have to dance with either a good friend, or someone that my daughter picks. As far as her escort goes, she also is going to be picking a good friend. I told her that it's better to pick someone she knows that she can rely on, instead of picking a so-called boyfriend who may back out at the last minute. I know that's going to make the planning go a little smoother now !

What Does a Smile Do For You?

Smiling is essential these days, not only in the good times, but it can help in the bad times as well. We want every day to be cheerful and happy but let's face it, that doesn't always happen. When we are going through a rough period, or maybe you are just having a bad day, take the time to remember and smile. Not only that, smile at someone or with someone....that makes the whole day better. A bad day doesn't last forever and a smile will get you through the hard times.

Handing Out The Rules

My daughter went to the Homecoming Dance, and that went well. She was dressed up very nicely and she came home telling me about her having a great time at the dance. She also told me that a group of them wanted to go out to get something to eat, but she turned them down because I told her NOT to leave the dance. WOW! I wanted to jump up and down and do the happy dance because she actually listened to me. How did this happen, you might ask? Well, before she left for the dance, I told her that she was not allowed to leave there and go anywhere else. She knows me, and she knows when NOT to push for more. I feel so grateful that she listened to me. I know that going out to eat wasn't going to be anything bad, but I didn't want her to get into someone's car. Do you give your teen rules before they go out? Do you tell them what you expect or don't expect from them? I was just curious.

Ridiculous Situation

My darling daughter is such a sweet girl. She is not really as grown up as alot of girls her age, however, she has recently become more sociable. She has made some new friends at her school, despite that fact that all of her last year's friends went to the new school in our city. She has done pretty well. She seems very well adjusted and I have to say, I am so happy about that.
However, it seems that boys are now coming into the picture. She has made quite a few friends that are male. I remember when I was a teen, that I connected really well with boys as friends too. This past weekend though, one friend (male) came over to see her and they were sitting in the front room with my hubby and I watching tv.........then another guy came over to see her. Without a doubt, this was a very difficult thing as they both wanted her attention. They know each other, but don't really hang out together and this made things a little more tense. What do you do about this kind of situation? They were getting along alright, but I could see how they were both wanting to be "top dog". I felt so relieved when one guy finally left and then I took the other one home. On top of all this, she didn't know they were coming over, at least not at the same time. Have any of you had this happen, and if so, what did you do about it?